Today's topic is - big city syndrome.
In a big city, life is hectic and everyone has so much going on.
You will need friends with you, and you fall back to your family, and you are struggling to live your own life.
So where does this situation position your romantic partner or relationship?
People from big city are light and casual in relationship. Well, casual here does not mean casually make love, or since it's casual, should just label it as sexual intercourse. But casual as in not giving too much priority in romantic relationship.
I worship the casual idea all along. I insist that one person can fall in love with multiple people at the same time. However, keeping too much distance with a romantic partner might make it Lust rather than Love.
*Picture does not depict specific city in question*New York, Tokyo, or Shanghai has a population more than 10million people.
What am I coming to?
In my opinion, Shanghai women overpowered men, The Yankees are rather harsh or mean, and in Tokyo people mind their own business. So people's relationship are very fragile in such big cities, and there are not much warmth between strangers.
For example, Japan is a group oriented country and Japanese value friends/community higher than a single partner.
The residents of such big cities almost tacitly have a mutual understanding to react to each other. They usually put romantic relationship at the last of their priorities.
What puzzled me was, why do you want a relationship if it has less priority than friends?
Possible explanations include:
>Friends are there no matter what, relationships come and go.
>Relationships are temporary, until you found the right one.
>Relationships are fragile and might hurt you, so it's better to keep distance and casual.
If a romantic relationship is not to be consider for long term partner, then it might be merely for temporary physical and mental satisfaction. You just need someone there to care or "care" when you need them, and when you don't have time or have better things to do, you will prioritize.
Many of you might feel bizarre or might feel like there's a bell ringing in your head.
But what I'm driving here is, people from huge cities might prefer to adopt this mindset. I surveyed a friend that lived in a same country but not the big city and he has a completely different viewpoint from my observation of the big city syndrome.
I was born and raised in the largest city in Malaysia, with a population around 1.9 million. Relatively small compare to these Megacities, but I do feel the need of being casual, since there are so many things more to life. However, in my opinion the point of having a romantic relationship does mean prioritizing my partner over my general friends.
Life > Family > Close Buddies > or = Romantic Partner > General Friends
This big city syndrome is fine, as long as you go along with it. But if you're going at it coming from a warmer(not climate wise) place or an outsider's POV, be aware of the clash of behaviors. It'll take time to understand it, and if you do live in these Megacities, you might eventually adopt the mindset and become one of them.
In 'my' nut shell, I guess this phenom is circumstantial, but overall it's not healthy because human are selfish social animal. It might reach a point that human just have sex for the sake of recreation but not reproduction. Ahhhh~ maybe that explains dropping birth-rate in certain cities.
Guten Tag my friends, you guys are almost par with my close buddies now! Appreciate it!
(I'm single! ;P)
**PS: If you read the original post, I am sorry that MY opinion is generalizing certain culture or cities and thus I amended some details.**
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